These heartfelt suggestions are intended to provide a frisson of pleasure and fun in your life. The first twenty have been floating around the internet for some time, but of course this is really just another lobe of what my freind Cathy (aka Kick Shoe Kooy) writes about all the time.
Now here's your big chance: I invite you to go to COMMENTS (at the end of this posting) and add your own thoughts on what would add value in this context. We'll make a BETTER list and send it back out over the wire - yah???
Here goes - and let your alter ego run wild!
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors."
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day. (Please note: Alan used to have a Bedoin tent with beaded entry around his desk at Semions - it worked.)
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Hard.
17. When The Money Comes Out Of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
And The
20. Share This Message With Someone To Make Them Smile...It's Called <Alter Ego> Therapy...
Put fries up your nose and make walrus noises at Burger King and see if anybody notices.
Posted by: The Kicker | February 18, 2005 at 11:09 PM
Walk up to a random guy on the street and force him to give you his name and number for a date with your sister--use pepper spray.
Posted by: Kiznik Kizzle in gangsta land | February 18, 2005 at 11:12 PM
Follow people in the grocery store and write down everything they buy. Explain to security that you're doing research for a book--or that you're a bitchez on tha edge. Whatever works.
Posted by: The NUTTER | February 18, 2005 at 11:15 PM
Stand outside the grocery store with a clipboard and count the people. Better yet, do it with a friend--one for arrivals, one for departures. When you get to one hundred either way, hand out a certificate, candy bar, and take a picture. Why not?
You can go back as often as you like and make a name for yourselves--any name will do. A great bonding activity.
Posted by: The Only One Home | February 19, 2005 at 03:51 PM
Walk up to random strangers and say, "Hi! It's so good to see you again. It seems like years." And then go off on everything you've been doing while they're wondering who you are. Before they can ask, say goodbye and walk off.
Posted by: The Weirdo | February 20, 2005 at 10:17 AM
I really like gluing quaters to the floor and watching people try and pick them up. Especialy in the dorm laundry room. College students can never have to many quaters. Another good one is telling every one who walks in to class about how much time you spent on the "homework" due today. Gets me almost every time. I'm so gullable.
Posted by: Emily | February 21, 2005 at 08:06 AM
PS. I love the new picture.
Posted by: E^2 | February 21, 2005 at 08:08 AM
Why not leave a plate of brownies on a display in WalMart with a sign that says take one, and then stand at a distance and see what happens.
Posted by: Kickin It | February 21, 2005 at 10:27 AM
Lay on the floor in the bathroom at Walmart until the ambulance comes, then get up and walk away.
Posted by: Darlene | February 22, 2005 at 12:38 PM
Attend a funeral for some random dead person and right after the eulogy start humming AC DC's "Highway to Hell" really loud.
Posted by: bob | February 22, 2005 at 01:26 PM
Have you ever noticed when you order at a drive up window they almost always ask "would you like something to drink with that?" You can reply by saying, "Oh Yeah, I'd like a large hot dog water with a small packet of mustard."
Posted by: Dayle | February 22, 2005 at 08:46 PM
Tell your husband or partner "Too bad you weren't home an hour ago, I was in the mood for sex.... Now I'm too tired...(sigh) Goodnight Dear."
Posted by: Calypso | February 22, 2005 at 08:49 PM
Okay, Calypso. I'm ROFL! Same to the rest of you crazies.
Posted by: The Kicker | February 22, 2005 at 10:15 PM
Okay, here's one. Go over to Kick Shoe Kooy, find the surrealism generator, type up a quote, put it on the bulletin board at work--anonymously, and then stand in front of it and laugh a lot. When some poor person stands there perplexed say, "Don't you get it?" Laugh some more and walk away.
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