Fresh Air

Discovery Park: Seattle's Best Kept Secret

Discovery Park is a 534 acre park near Seattle's downtown core, but you'd never know it's there unless you went looking for it.  Within the park, there are miles of trails from which to choose.  One can scale Magnolia Bluff, head over the other side and meander down to one of two pristine, natural sand beaches on either paved or natural trails.  The view of the Puget Sound shipping lanes is spectacular, and the park provides a variety of ecosystems to enjoy.

As a big fan of Stanley Park in Vancouver, B.C. with its varied terrain and beautiful scenery, I am also into the quieter, wilder sides of Seward Park on Lake Washington.  Based on my appreciation for these two very different environments, I found my recent visit to Discovery Park as more than pleasant surprise.  The park is bordered by Puget Sound on two sides and the fishing terminal just south of Ballard on the other.  Formerly known as Fort Lawton, the park has been converted from an army base to this wild, natural yet highly accessible public space.

As we walked up the bluff, I heard a variety of bird calls, some of which I don't recall hearing in the past.  Though most of the leaves are down, the park is also home to a variety of evergreens, and I didn't actually get to see any of the warblers.  Nonetheless, we crested the hill and started down towards the beach, passing marshlands filled with ducks swimming through cattails and grasses along the way.

Both South Beach and North Beach have their own respective beauty.  Between them resides the West Point Lighthouse; a delightfully small building housing a protective beam to shield ships from the rocky ledge beneath the point.  The National Lighthouse Preservation Act provides federal agencies, community development organizations, non-profits, local and state governments the ability to acquire surplus US Coast Guard facilities from the Federal Government.

Recently, the West Point Light Station was released as part of the program.   The City of Seattle Parks and Recreation Department applied for the property and was recently awarded the lighthouse in October of 2004.  With this addition, the park is now completely contiguous and fully managed by the City.

As we wandered northward from South Beach past the lighthouse, we made our way towards North Beach, which has a different character and light pattern than that at South Beach.  It's also in the lee, and provided a nice break from the brisk breeze present around the point.  After North Beach, we started the uphill climb to the top of the bluff, using trails, stairs and boardwalks to traverse the steep, forested hillside.  Upon reaching the top, we went to the lookout, but the deciduous flora has unfortunately overgrown the view.

If you're looking for a large, mostly untamed yet well-pathed natural environment in which to enjoy a variety of challenging walks, Discovery Park is one of Seattle's best kept secrets.  So many people drive 45 minutes or an hour to Tiger Mountain out on the I-90 corridor.  For my money, Discovery Park is steep enough to provide an excellent workout, and is thankfully free of the hundreds of people regularly traversing the Tiger trail.   

Of Migraines and Samadhi

I attended a doctor's appointment yesterday to learn how to use biofeedback to control the intensity of my migraine headaches.  I'm not sure what I expected, but it most certainly wasn't a more fully evolved version of my best imaged self.

Carolyn McManus works in the adult rehabilitation section of Swedish Hospital.  I'd been recommended to her by Dr. Sylvia Lucas, another stellar healing professional who deals exclusively with headache issues at UW.

Carolyn opened the conversation in an animated fashion, sharing her recent experiences at a conference presided over by the Dalia Lama on the mind's role in creating and sustaining experience, both positive and negative.  I asked how she got into this field, and got a very interesting description on creating mindfulness around healing the whole person, not just physical injuries.  Formerly a traditional physical therapist, she returned to school to complete graduate work in psychology with the intention of starting a counseling practice.  However, upon further reflection she felt compelled to return to traditional medicine, bringing her own special brand of healing and holistic medicine into the mix. 

Using this explanation as a segue into learning more about understanding and controlling my own mind-body connection, she started to ask questions about my migraine experiences and reaction to those experiences.  This I found interesting - since when you're dealing with physical injury, you often get asked how and where it hurts, but not about your reactions and feelings to the injury itself.      

Her work focuses on developing an integrated approach to dealing with pain.  In her view, it's less about the physical experience and more about the mental approach taken to the physical experiences.  In light of this viewpoint, we discussed ways to ascertain how your body is reacting and how to control those reactions more fully.  These included biofeedback techniques, relaxation techniques and how these might connect to my reaction to stress, particularly in light of the migraines.

Her point was well taken.  Pain is pain, but one's reaction to pain is something that can be controlled.  In particular, I was struck by her suggestion that in the midst of pain, you can visualize it into context, creating it as a small component in a much larger mental universe.  Another take-away that I found relevant to the way I operate is to engage a sense of curiosity rather than judgment when in the midst of a migraine experience.  Often when these headaches arise, its in the context of a deadline or some other type of pressure point that needs to be met.  The headache is often a sign that a) I've run out of internal resources  or b) I've run out of creative ways to make the situation better.  Her point is that though the situation isn't going to change, my reaction to it can. 

Using her techniques, I discovered that if you really relax there is a natural re-balancing in the bloodstream that takes place.  Fight-or-flight experiences tend to pull the blood into the core.  When you relax, that blood moves back out into your extremities, e.g. away from your pounding brain.  One side effect of this process is that the temperature in your extremities rises as the blood flows into them.  I was able to raise my hand temperature 6 degrees after the first biofeedback attempt, though my outside reading indicates that an even higher increase is desirable.  Women's hands at rest in room temperature surroundings are generally about 86 degrees.  The goal is to raise the temperature up to about 95 degrees for greatest efficacy with migraine.

Part of building an awareness and degree of control is understanding where you are mentally in the stress pattern, and also where your body is.  The body carries memories much longer than the mind.  Carolyn was quite keen on being "in the moment" mentally, but also bringing your body along to being present in the moment as well.   This is tough for me.  Yes, I meditate and do yoga and all that great stuff that is supposed to bring "balance", but the minute I get into work, pfffffft!, it's gone and I am ready to fight the good fight until I can crawl home exhausted at the end of the day.  Thus is the state of grace for a Type A personality. 

Work is all about mental sharpness and psychological acuity.  I read people's reactions for a living, and base business decisions on developing solutions that work from both a business and a personal motivation standpoint.  Problem solving, keeping people motivated, keeping myself on track and engaged; this all takes mental energy.  According to Carolyn, I need to integrate more of my outside-the-office Samadhi mindset into general tasks, whether it's making coffee or phone calls.  Breathing in and out, keeping body awareness even in the midst of mental crises (real or otherwise) should help mitigate the stress triggers that seem to generate migraines.  I have now found that even just a few breaths done with intention and focus can bring me back to my whole self - not just the noodle that wants to operate as a separate entity. 

So there you have it.  I've got exercises to do at home and at work, and I've already stopped at least twice today and took time to breathe.  And no migraine yet this week, either, which is quite a welcome relief! 

Grandmaitus

Grandmaitus: the state of awe and wonder when someone that your closely related to, whether by blood or otherwise, and at least a generation behind you announces that they are with child.

Pronunciations vary by geography.  Some say GrandMAYAtus, making is sound a bit more like a disease and less like a state of mind.  Others, such as myself, put a distinct glottal between the Grandma and the -itus, providing a bit more clarity around what's really going on here. 

I have Grandmaitus.  A bad case, from what I can ascertain as my first reaction was to drop all other projects and begin knitting a soft, snugly and ridiculously expensive baby bunting.  Never one to get into all that gender-based color theory, it's in a gentle yellow chenille, with little feathery bits embedded in the yarn.  A complementary soft green trim completes the ensemble. 

I'll let the parties that be announce their identities in due time.  The declaration came as a surprise, but not an unwelcome one.  However, it's early, and anything can happen.  But, I can guarantee that the excitement is building amongst the Grandma Group.  We're all on board and looking forward to the next generation! 

 

Apple Cup Schizophrenia

The annual Apple Cup is fast approaching, and last year, one exceptionally clever entrepreneur managed to embed Cougar and Husky team logos on Pink Lady apples.  Randy Valicoff introduced these apples last year, and I hope for his sake they were big sellers.

We prepare a little differently.  Since I am a graduate of both Washington State (Class of '81) and University of Washington (Class of '97) , I am always torn at this time of year as to where my real loyalties reside.  Should it be based on the quality of the team?  The location of the Apple Cup?  Whether I got great seats or not?  The genetic disposition of the tailgate host?

It's all just a little too confusing.  This year, the battle is compounded because we've got two additional Cougars descending on the household.  Alan is a Husky, before he went all Ivy-league and headed out to Providence.  But Cathy and Cal are true-blue eastern Washington representatives, graduates of said state college, and come armed complete with claws and a mighty growl to match.  Alan may well be outgunned.

Just down the street, our friends Tamara and Don are Cougar maniacs.  They hang a Coug banner high above the street, stringing it on metal cable between their house and another Cougar just across the way.  Many other friends in the neighborhood put out Husky flags, and most of us walk to the game through the Arboretum and on to Husky stadium.

Which leads me to why we're *not* tailgating, excellent host of either persuasion nothwithstanding.  Instead, we're staying by the fireplace and cooking up a storm, THEN walking to the game.  Cougar Gold fondue.  Husky Hamburgers; a euphamism for "thick steak on thin bread."  Spiked Apple Cider is de rigeur in any regard, and thankfully neutral.  And Bloody Mary's - virgin or otherwise. 

As anyone knows, football is as much about the food as the game, so we'll start the day right and fill'er up before heading out.  And about that question of loyalty: even if I choose to don gray wool slacks and a crimson sweater, odds are good that I'll stick a pair of purple gloves in my pocket, even if they never see the light of day.  It's tough to forget your early roots, first table dance, fraternity cruise, home-brewed sorority, first apartment, celebrating May  8 in the waving wheat of the great Palouse, and so on.  And even though the adult in me turns towards UW now, I doubt you'll ever be able to eradicate the Cougar in my heart.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr.  Go Cougs!

Natural Highs

I had occasion to have a solid catch-up call with my former spouse this weekend.  We talked about entrepreneurship, the difficulties surrounding new venture creation and finding an appropriate start-up capital partner and the challenges surrounding the transition between a "technology" frame of mind and a "business model" perspective.  I will say for certain that he's learned a great deal about the business side of the equation since we last spoke.

It was good to talk with each other in a relaxed, engaged manner with someone with whom I'd been so close, then ever so distant.  Time does heal all wounds, though you never forget where the scars are located.  Nonetheless, we seem to be in a healthy place now, and for that I am thankful.

He sent me an email this morning entitled "Natural Highs."  All of the points are good ones, and worth contemplating individually.  I was touched, however, by the magnitude of feeling generated by #45, since you never know for sure that the choices you make are the optimal ones.  Getting a bit of confirmation was more than touching; it actually made me catch my breath.  Here is the email message:

Natural Highs

Please make sure you forward this back to me . . . You'll see why at the end !

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one .

It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end #45.

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you

19.

Midnight

phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke

24. Friends.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29   Playing with a new puppy.

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

38.  Holding hands with someone you care about.

39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

43   Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Moving Towards Thanksgiving

This image of a cauldron perched over an open fire reminds me that the process of cooking and eating can take many forms, from simplistic "hot rock" boiling techniques practiced by our Native American brethren to high-tech granite counter-topped multi-oven environments so common in homes today.

I've been contemplating how to make Thanksgiving rich with tradition, but a bit simpler and easier to manage.  For appetizers, I'd really like to see if I can manage a home-made pate or terrine.  I've got an entire book on this type of offering that I've never used.  We've also gone the easy route with some pop-in-the-oven bits like mini-quiches and samosas, but its fun to put out kibbles and bits in every room for those pre-dinner nibbles.

We're choosing to keep with turkey as the main course, but we'll be preparing it in two batches; one with dark meat and the other with breast meat.  This allows each type of meat to be serviced in a manner appropriate to its consistency and fat content.  It also allows Alan to prepare the dark meat in his mother's tradition, and I can prepare the breast per usual; herbs, parmesan cheese, dill seed and butter, then baked to juicy perfection.  Yummmmm.

For veggies, Alan's root vegetable compote will provide the requisite amount of butter and brown sugar, and sweet potatoes, yams, squash and beets make up the base.  No marshmallows, but the sweet syrup formed during the baking process is richly flavored yet not too sticky.

For potatoes, I think there would be a riot if I didn't make the traditional mashed version.  I am, however, contemplating the option of creating a medley of flavoring options; fried garlic bits, cubed cheeses, chives and other fresh herbs and butter and sour cream, of course.  That way people can create their own based on their palate du jour. 

Dessert provides an opportunity for greater creativity.  Now that Arianna has decided to embody the spirit of Julia Child, she's been baking up a storm on a weekly basis.  Yes, pumpkin pie needs to be present and accounted for, but how about adding an apple-cranberry offering to the mix?  Alternatively, I can see her getting out the candy molds and going to town on some truffles as well.

It's still two weeks away and the menu continues to evolve.  This will be our first dual-family holiday event, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all will be well, no one will starve and that sports will be viewed on any television other than that in the kitchen.  Stay tuned as I change my mind about 90 times before the big day arrives.

Friendship and Sisterhood

After weeks of plotting and planning, I spent last weekend with my amazing girlfreind Cathy and her equally spectacular daughter Emily in rural Oregon.

First off, let me just bask for a moment in the beautiful, rejuvinating experence it is to be with people who know you inside and out and still love you, regardless of the fault-lines, gaping potholes and other personality disorders you may have developed over the decades.

Those of us that are fortunate and chose our spouses and partners well can bask in a similar experience, which ties strongly to the ability to experience true intimacy.  With a spouse or partner, this takes on deeper dimensions that are tied to that singular partnership.  But with my girlfreinds, there is still a palpable intimacy that just does my heart good.

True friends hide the judgement stick in the closet when you arrive.  True friends listen to you even as you describe your most grisly, complete and masterfully imagined murder of your (fill in the blank with your Worst Enemy Ever.)  True friends laugh at your stories, even if they're only moderately funny.  And in the process of just sitting in each other's presence, experiencing what is real for each of us, a balm of acceptance, honor and love descends and enveloped our assembled company.

True friends do something else as well.  They expand your circle with others they love and trust.  On this trip, I met Cathy's friend Dayle, who packs a whollop in a diminutive body.  Master of the pithy understatement, Dayle had me waiting in anticipation for next witty observation, which one could miss if not listening closely.  I can see why she and Cathy are friends, and hope I'll get to know her better as time goes on as well.  And, on top of a great personality, she also makes a killer voodoo doll.

But the highlight of this trip was really all about the emerging nature of Emily.  On the verge of foreign study in Spain and France, Emily has developed a worldliness and sense of adventure that supercedes that of her birthroots.  My role in Emily's life has been as second mother, and she knows she can turn to me at any time, for any reason.  However, I don't anticipate any cries for help...that girl has planted her feet on the ground, her hands on her hips and doesn't take guff from anyone.  And, she's in love, which has softened some of that attitude and widened her world in a different way.  It was a joy to watch her bloom as adventurer and romantic.

My thanks to both of you, and to Dayle, for a weekend well spent.  I came home ready to face another challenging week with a much more stable underpinning, as well a gentle reminder on what girlfriends are really all about.  I'm still smiling! 

Finding Joy in the Middle Years

There was a wonderful piece written by Andy Rooney, describing what he liked about women over 40.  In my opinion, it was brilliantly done, and not just because he's got a soft spot for those of us in the middle segment of life. 

All segments of life bring their own bounty.  However, in watching my daughter's struggles with all things teenagerish, I recall what an emotional roller coaster it was to grow up.  I wouldn't have missed it for the world, but don't really feel the need to turn back the clock, either.  I'm now mentoring students from a local university, watching their unfolding dramas as they come to terms with shaping their professional life and developing more mature relationships.  Instead of craning their neck forward towards adulthood, they're attempting to create here-and-now life balance between school, work, home life and self care. 

The middle years, at least thus far, have been exceptionally productive and fulfilling.  There are many different ways to experience or measure one's "success", not all of which are quantitative in nature.  You loosen your grip a little on the wheel, realizing that no matter where you turn, you're going to need to deal with what you find.  The criterion for finding and living the optimal path comes from within rather than external factors that dictate what a "good life" should look like. 

I've written a great deal about how to gracefully stay upright and mobile; especially about recovering from downturns and making choices that create a meaningful existence based on connection, integrity, and doing the best you can with what you've got and how you develop it.  I'm going to add another caveat to the list.  This is taking time to consciously take care of yourself.  Oh, I know that Mother told you this years ago.  But, it turns out to be true.    

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I don't know who said this, but it serves as an action-based ethical framework (the practical existence of hell notwithstanding) indicating that for all of the good thoughts you might have had, it's all for naught if you don't translate concept to reality.  I've been meaning to take good care of my body for years, but have consistently put other things first, especially in the earlier phases of my life.  The middle years provide an opportunity to look back and consider how one might choose differently, whether its with regard to health, well being, relationship, motivations, or just about any other important topic.

Now that I am actively doing so, the "aha!" associated with the process is ever so much larger.  "Intent" does not equate with "completion."  It's just the beginning of the process.

As I begin each fresh week, exercise sheet in hand, I realize that each time I choose to put something else first, the cost of that choice is reflected in my own well being, and by definition, my ability to contribute to the well being of those around me.  This is not to say I've become an exercise Nazi; far from it.  But the strata of my priorities has definitely begun to shift, and for the better. 

It's Monday.  I've got a long week ahead, but I'm trying to take care of myself, one day at a time.  I hope you are as well.