Well, bang my Burmese gong.
I get that we go through phases in life, and that there are seasons in our existence, no matter what existential framework you happen to espouse.
I've had periods of wild creative abandon - where I would dance til dawn and paint with great passion; sing with abandon and drum til my hands were so swollen they could have been asbestos oven mitts. These were periods very much of the "now" - not the past, and not the future. Birthing and raising Sophia has been another wonderful experience of the "now" - this cry, that breast, with a singular focus on what would create the most satisfying experience for her. She's a capable little cuss - and lets me know in no uncertain terminology what she wants. I really like that aspect of her personality.
Now - I'm lucky to be in another growth phase - with eyes both on the now and what the future might hold. Risk/reward analysis is a process that I blessedly ignored for the past three years. It wasn't relevant. But to think strategically, you have to extrapolate. I'm finding that transition challenging but not undo-able.
Now, about those Nutmeats....while completing my doctorate at UW, I had the wonderful opportunity to work with some incredibly creative, bright people. It was one of the most intellectually stimulating and though-provoking experiences of my life. Informal groups would coalesce, break apart and reform based on common interest or purpose. One of these groups was the Nutmeats - with a Filbert of immense creative capacity at the helm. I'd forgotten how much fun mud baths, Burning Man and re-baptism in the holy-but-freezing waters of the Miller River could be. As a bead-bearing member of the tribe, and with the leather thong around my neck to prove it - we managed to collectively create some substantive waves in the world of 3D experiential art.
I've recently had the opportunity to connect with another amazingly creative soul - one who is living his passion, channeling the divine in spirit and song. I'm pretty sure there are no chance encounters - and that if you're open to inspiration it is all around you. In about 45 seconds, all of the well-placed callouses I'd developed to sublimate my creative side were summarily removed, leaving nothing but a big ah-hah! and peals of delighted laughter as a complement to the moment.
As I finger my beautiful bead, and dream of songs yet to be sung, I can honestly say I am *so thankful* to be reminded of a huge part of who I am, and the freedom I have to re-engage. And how delightful to once again have the motivation to let that lovely, and highly treasured side of me come forth once again. Mahalo nui loa, my delightful friend. A hui hou!

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