After weeks of plotting and planning, I spent last weekend with my amazing girlfreind Cathy and her equally spectacular daughter Emily in rural Oregon.
First off, let me just bask for a moment in the beautiful, rejuvinating experence it is to be with people who know you inside and out and still love you, regardless of the fault-lines, gaping potholes and other personality disorders you may have developed over the decades.
Those of us that are fortunate and chose our spouses and partners well can bask in a similar experience, which ties strongly to the ability to experience true intimacy. With a spouse or partner, this takes on deeper dimensions that are tied to that singular partnership. But with my girlfreinds, there is still a palpable intimacy that just does my heart good.
True friends hide the judgement stick in the closet when you arrive. True friends listen to you even as you describe your most grisly, complete and masterfully imagined murder of your (fill in the blank with your Worst Enemy Ever.) True friends laugh at your stories, even if they're only moderately funny. And in the process of just sitting in each other's presence, experiencing what is real for each of us, a balm of acceptance, honor and love descends and enveloped our assembled company.
True friends do something else as well. They expand your circle with others they love and trust. On this trip, I met Cathy's friend Dayle, who packs a whollop in a diminutive body. Master of the pithy understatement, Dayle had me waiting in anticipation for next witty observation, which one could miss if not listening closely. I can see why she and Cathy are friends, and hope I'll get to know her better as time goes on as well. And, on top of a great personality, she also makes a killer voodoo doll.
But the highlight of this trip was really all about the emerging nature of Emily. On the verge of foreign study in Spain and France, Emily has developed a worldliness and sense of adventure that supercedes that of her birthroots. My role in Emily's life has been as second mother, and she knows she can turn to me at any time, for any reason. However, I don't anticipate any cries for help...that girl has planted her feet on the ground, her hands on her hips and doesn't take guff from anyone. And, she's in love, which has softened some of that attitude and widened her world in a different way. It was a joy to watch her bloom as adventurer and romantic.
My thanks to both of you, and to Dayle, for a weekend well spent. I came home ready to face another challenging week with a much more stable underpinning, as well a gentle reminder on what girlfriends are really all about. I'm still smiling!
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